A post about me

Life is good. No. Life is great. I am enjoying my little family everyday. My boys are amazing. They are such good boys. One more than the other, probably because he cant talk or move and I'm okay with that. Pregnancy felt long. Maybe because I worried the majority of it. Landon is growing up fast. His little tooth bud on the bottom has sprouted. I ask myself where the time has gone. It was a year ago this time that I found out I was pregnant. I took about 20 tests...now I have this amazing little boy who is so smiley and bright.

I've had the same job now for almost 10 years. Well not the same job, I've been in the same department for almost 10 years. I've moved around and up quick and I like what I do. I like who I work for which makes it easier to leave my children. I am a working mom. That's just how things are. They say money isn't everything. Well it sure would make things easier. You see I had this plan. The plan was to have 4 children by the age of 30. I would be a stay at home mom and my primary job would be the children and the home. I friend posted on facebook a statement, not sure if its a famous quote or who said it but it went something like "If you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans". So true.

Waiting for Landon taught me some sort of patience. It taught me that I am on gods time and not mine. That things happen when they do and that's that. I am turning 29 in December and its made me realize that this so call plan I had has failed. I'm not having 2 more children in the next year and a half. Its not physically possible. Unless I got pregnant with twins..now that would be cool. But seriously in all seriousness this isn't going to happen. So I thought well...do we have 3 and call it a day? Do I go for 4 and who cares when they come?

You see I over analyze EVERYTHING!! I mean EVERYTHING. I think things out too much. It's the control freak in me. I have to know where, what, why, when. I feel very strong in my heart that there are more children out there for me. If we were millionaires I'd spend my time being a mom and having children. Ambitious I know. But I dont.

I started college the fall after I graduated 11 years ago. I went off and on for 5 years. Some classes I did really well at, others were a complete waste of money because I failed due to lack of participation. I've realized lately how important education is. Perhaps its the fact that my younger brother started college in August. He loves it and I think in parts I'm jealous. I'm jealous because I should be something by now. I'm jealous because I know that knowledge is power, I know that a high school diploma is like graduating from kindergarten and I know that I would push my children to be better than what their parents were.

I want to be able to provide those opportunities to my kids. I'm going back to school. Yep, I know I'm crazy. And if you are saying no Sue you aren't crazy..then you're lying. Because the reality of the situation is that I am crazy. I'm 29 (almost) and going back to college. Many of the classes that I took once upon a time are old and outdated...so I need to repeat them. Its a lot cheaper if I take them at SLCC so thats where my journey will begin. Part of me is excited, the other part makes me feel guilty that I'm taking time away with my boys.

However I've had an epiphany. I'm grateful for my job and the things that I have been able to learn. I'll restate that I like what I do and who I work for that's not my issue. My issue is the people I work with can be ridiculous sometimes. I'm not being dramatic either. I get complaints on the phones, complaints because they don't like the type of pens that I order, the Kleenexes are too rough for their noses. If I get their bonuses on their checks, there is no thank you's of any kind. If I don't get their bonuses on their checks all hell breaks loose. In other words I feel like I am running a daycare of some sort except these kids are adults who work for a living. I feel like I have more potential. Like there is something else out there for me and everyday...as I'm sitting in traffic, pissed off because I've left work with thoughts of running over my co-workers (not literally, more so my Ally Mcbeal moment) I think I need a change. A change in a big way.

Landon Jacob Gatherum

So I was huge.....and I mean HUGE by the time June came and I was determined to have that baby on or before its due date. I got desperate. I mean DESPERATE. It's weird that with your second baby you get just as excited as you did with your first. Atleast for me it was. I dont know why. Who really wants to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby while your husband is trying to keep you company but somehow his breathing has become heavier and heavier until it becomes a full blown snore.

I was making progress or atleast thats what my dr wanted me to think. I was measuring ahead the entire time. I was 35 weeks and dialated to a 3 and 60% effaced this baby was coming soon right? No wrong. In fact I think its just another way that god proves he has a sense of humor. I had my c-section scheduled for June 20. My brother in laws wedding was slowly approaching on June 11 and gosh darn it that baby had to be here. I ate some damn hot hot. Only to realize that is a total lie and it doesn't induce labor. I bounced on the excersize ball for HOURS. I literally thought I was going to break something. I ran up the stairs...walked, jogged, walked some more and had more interactive activities with my husband than you all care to know. It just wasn't happening. I had thrown in the towel. I said whatever I guess I'll go in on the 20th. My only comfort was knowing that was it. I wouldn't have to be pregnant any longer. It wasn't so much because I hated being pregnant because I didn't. I'm one of those lucky ones that has a fantastic pregnancy (not to brag) other than worrying I was good. I was just antsy to meet the little man.

I went to bed the night of the 16th (Thursday) having some mild contractions. They were pretty consistent but not painful. I ignored them because CLEARLY this wasn't labor and went to bed. They were getting stronger throughout the night and I thought yeah ha ha very funny. I got up to do my normal routine Friday morning to some major bleeding. I thought hmm I really didnt have this happen to me last time. Lets just go get checked out. If this is it then fine if not whatever but I didnt want to go to work thinking I might ruin my chair. I tell Jeremy the news of course and he's completely elated. Not because this might be the beginning of the new chapter in our lives but because he doesn't have to go to work. WOoT WoOt long weekend!! Thanks honey always at your service!

We pack our things, drop Kaden off at daycare and head to the hospital. They take me back to check me in and hook me up to the monitors. My contractions were about 3 minutes apart coming on pretty strong. Luckily my doctor was making rounds at that time and came in. Checked me (I had been checked 2 days before with no progress) and I was fully effaced. Contractions coming pretty strong. He said do you wanna have a baby today? Really doc? Does a fat kid enjoy cake? Yeah you know what lets have a baby.

The nurses came in, set up the IV's and then I was on a waiting strip. Kinda like when you see the planes lined up right before takeoff waiting for a clear runway. I waited for a clear operating room. They put my cute little socks and off I went into the OR. I walked in the room and I had forgotten how cold it was. I started shaking immediately and knowing that Jeremy was no where in sight freaked me out more. This was it. Minutes from now my sweet precious little boy who I'd been waiting for so long was going to be here. They prepared me for the spinal block at which point my legs just went instantly numb. I laid back and watched them prep my lower body from the light reflector up top. My dr came in and I told them I needed music. They turned it up. All I remember is it was the arrow. Cant remember the song. Jeremy came in shortly and operation lets cut ya open started.

It got quiet. I told them I needed a play by play. The silence does no good to me so Jeremy started talking to me. I saw them slice across and I felt the pressure again. It was quick. Tears began to fill my eyes up when I heard his sweet cry. It had happened...He was real..he was here.

They immediately brought him over for me to see him. He was purple. I mean PURPLE to the point that he looked like he could have been black. I was like oh crap...whats going on here. Apparently thats how he decided to come out and he shortly turned a normal shade. He was perfect. I told Jeremy to go with him and so he did. He weighed in at 8lbs 4oz. Which I was amazed at because he looked so small when I saw him and I didnt gain anymore weight than when I had Kaden. It must have been all that calorie/carb/fat free mint chocolate ice cream I ate everyday ;) They measured him at 20 1/2 inches. Already this kid was planning on showing his brother up. They wrapped him up and gave him to Jeremy. He brought him near my face. I kissed his sweet little forehead and told him we've been waiting so long for him to come see us. Its an overwhelming feeling how much love you feel for someone you just met.

They proceeded to stitch me up and Jeremy and I just soaked up the moment to spend time with our new little dude. They wheeled me back into a recovery room and I held him for the first time. It was love at first sight. He was blessed with my perfectly round chin and he had the cutest little cheeks ever. I loved him and I loved him even more because he looked that his brother. I mean IDENTICAL. These 2 are a perfect image of each other.

We spent the next 2 days in the hospital. He is amazing. He is such a smiley sweet spirit. He wakes up happy everyday and he is so mellow. We have been truly blessed and I am so grateful to have been chosen parents of this little guy.

Well hello there...

There are several facts that I can state right now that I'm sure you would agree with.

Fact: Construction is this state is rediculous!! There are orange cones, lane merger signs, busted up roads and plenty of asphalt rock chips on my beautiful white car to prove that this just isn't working out. If you need to replace asphalt every six months then maybe its time for us to start using something else. I have the WORST road rage there is and one day I'm sure I will be arrested, assaulted or thrown in jail because I've become such an aggressive driver.

Fact: The weather here sure CAN be beautiful but lately its like a pregnant woman going through hormonal changes. I know this because I was just one. I just don't get it one day its 90 degrees and a couple days later BAM snow out of nowhere. Maybe I don't have such a problem with that because its just something I've become use to however I have a problem with the constant whining that is associated with it. So mother nature is chemically imbalanced...I'm sorry but complaining about it will definitely get you no where and forgetting how to drive in the weather change might just get a drink thrown at you by yours truly so watch out.

Fact: I'm a horrible blogger. Then End.

Its been months since I've poured my thoughts onto a keyboard. Its sure laziness I tell you because if I really wanted to I could get on the laptop and take care of business. I'll make it short and update you on things that have happened since the last blog and then go into detail (for my sake really so I don't forget)

1. The floating baby is still appearing which at some point I will figure out how to remove it. Floating baby no more...he's real alright. Landon Jacob Gatherum arrived June 17, 2011.
2. Kaden is now a terrorizing 4 year old. Yep you read it 4...and the older he gets the more he tests my patience. I can recall the wise words my parents told me once. "Everything you do to us you will get worse in return with your own children" Thanks mom and dad. You always know what to say.
3. Equal Rights? Yes please. Except for things that come with the husband title. More details to come

Ok maybe my life is truly boring and I haven't had THAT much go on since March but whatever.

March Snow, Brings April Showers which bring May Flowers

Or so they say.... Ok maybe no one really says that but me.

My floating baby says I have 103 days to go. Can you believe that? I cant. This whole thing has been just crazy. My peanut in fact has a peanut. We will soon be expecting another little boy. If he's anything like Kaden I'm in for a real treat.

Landon shall be his name. Why Landon? Well its going to be after Landon Lueck from the Real World Philadelphia, if you don't know who that is look him up. He's so good looking, and I tend to make good looking children in my opinion...so its decided. I haven't told Jeremy my reasons as to why I want to go with Landon but I don't really think it would matter.

I'm growing and its a crazy feeling. I no longer think is this really going to happen, as much as this is going to happen. I don't think I will truly believe it until he's here but I will enjoy every minute of it.

I'm up 10 lbs..which is really good for me. My goal was 15 no more than 20. I started ahead of the game so I knew I didn't want to push my weight. I'm feeling great for the most part.

I have the WORST heartburn ever. It's been even worse as of late. Maybe my child will have a lot of hair.

I know that there are a lot of things you tend to forget when its been a while. I don't really crave anything. On occasion I want a salad. Not just any salad a Cafe Rio salad. I like ice cream a lot too.

Kaden is kind of getting the idea of a new baby although I truly don't think he understands fully. I told him the other day that there was a baby in my belly, I said baby Landon is in my belly and he looked at me like I had a third eye.

He said baby Landon lived in space with Heavenly Father and we needed to get our space suit and space ship to go get him. Children are so sweet.

Haven't started on Landon's room. I got his stuff out. I have clothes, plenty of clothes and I am extremely lucky that my boys will be in the same season because I will be able to use all the clothing. I also realized I kept a lot of Kadens clothes that I am not going to use, like his spilled on onesies.

I went to the dr on the 28th of February and he stated the last 2 times that I have been there that I'm measuring ahead. What does this mean? To me not much. I'm 100% certain on my dates however he's thinking I'm 5 weeks ahead.

Well doubt it because again I'm certain with my dates.

I have a gut feeling that I'm not making it to my due date but I don't believe to be 5 weeks ahead.

I'm going on for another ultrasound on the 28th of March and see what the deal is.

Maybe I just have a big baby.

Maybe not. Kaden was average.

I'll keep ya posted.

13 more days!!!

Until we find out if our peanut has a peanut.....or if we're going to have to stock up on pinks. It feels like time is flying by. Some days are better than others on time. So far so good. I went to my Dr appt about 2 weeks ago and we are right on track with a strong heartbeat. Everyday that goes by I feel like this might really happen. I really DONT care what we are having. I don't have a preference. Fo sho!! Pregnancy has been good to me I suppose. I have told myself time and time again that I will not complain and I have managed to turn every complaint into a something positive. I have been a lot sicker this time around and I'm okay with that. I'm starting to show I think then again I don't have much of a torso so I don't know where it would go. Kaden still isn't sure of whats going on.

At first he wanted to have a baby sister....but I think he thinks they come out toddlers..little does he know she will be pretty boring for a while. Then he changed his mind and said he would "hammer her". Yes this is a frequent saying my child says. Sometimes he can think violently...he wouldn't really follow through with it.

So he decided he wanted a boy. Until I told him that he could share his toys and closed and all his baby stuff. This isn't going to fly either. I told him at the end of the day he needed to decide because most likely here in a few months we would be coming home with someone and I am going to need his help. He said he would help but the baby would need to go to the potty on his own because otherwise he would need to throw up. Thanks pal.

We have been thinking about names here and there. OKAY I have been thinking about names. The other day however Jeremy said to me " I think we should be old fashioned and give our son (he's convinced its another boy) a strong name...like Bill...?? What?? Are you for real right now? BILL?? He's like yeah how about Craig?? Oh great this is getting better. He said I thought about Margaret for a girl" All right smart guy this is about the time I stop having this conversation. We've left it at that and I don't believe we will be having another name chat until time gets closer.

Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Can you believe its over?? I can. It seems like December just flies by. There are birthdays and parties and get togethers and it seems like everything is on the go.

This year was no different. However it was an amazing Christmas. We have been so blessed!

And the blessings will continue on into 2011 with a new baby and a new sister in law :)

Kaden is 3 1/2 and spent his 4th Christmas. He is a little more understanding of the whole Santa Clause concept. We had my brother in law come by Christmas Eve in a Santa suit and "lay out" the presents. We woke Kaden up and tried to get him excited about Santa...except we couldnt get him to stay awake. Jeremy was so excited that Santa was coming that he forgot to put a pull up on Kaden (he's not quite night time trained). In the morning Jeremy woke up first. Must be the inner child in him and woke me up. We then went in and woke Kaden up. As Jeremy was carrying Kaden downstairs he quickly realized that if you dont put a pull up on you're going to wake up wet. I thought I was hilarious!

We then started opening presents:

Jeremy and I then proceeded to open gifts. It was awesome. I got some new perfume, a body pillow, a new curling iron, a port in my car so I can listen to my ipod (so long radio!!) some new pots and pans and a food processor and the highlight....a fetal doppler so I can listen to my babys heartbeat once a week (or so Jeremy has had me agreed to ;) .

I think I'm more excited about the doppler so it can give me a sense of comfort through my dr visits. I go in on January 4th where I will be 15 weeks. Hopefully in about 3 weeks we will findout what we are having. Things are looking good.

We are pregnant!!!

Well WE aren't...but I am :)

Yes its true. I want to shout it at the top of my lungs for the whole world to hear. Unfortunately I'm being cautious about this whole thing so for now I get to yell it to my blog. I can probably count on one hand the amount of people that actually read this so I'm pretty safe.

I am currently 12 weeks pregnant with a due date of June 27. It's so surreal to me and everyday that goes by I think....is this really happening?? We are super excited and pray that it will all work out. I have been taught patience and although some would say I've waited long enough apparently time is all I have. So far so good. I have had 2 Dr appts and they have both been great. In fact I just saw the Dr last Wednesday and I saw my little bean moving around like nobodys business with a heart rate of 171bmp.

I'm still trying to take it all in and process everything. I feel like I cant get too excited but at the same time I've been trying to tell myself that I am allowed to GET excited and believe in the power of positive thinking. Kaden is super excited. He is SOOOO ready to be a big brother. He says "Mommy you have my baby sister in your tummy" I'm not sure where he gets that from but in a few weeks we will be able to know and maybe he's onto something we don't know. For now I will just continue to enjoy the days and see what happens next.